FEEDBACK: upNXT Movie Review - Star Wars Ep2 AOTC

Allo, allo, allo! Davie Portman here requesting all of your feedback for Star Wars - Episode II - Attack of the Clones! Ahoy!

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I know this movie gets a lot of hate often called the worst of the Star Wars franchise. I’ve never really minded it (despite the awful love story) nearly as much as Phantom Menace. I think a lot of that though is that I was in High School when I saw Phantom Menace in theaters and it was such a let down that everything after that seemed an improvement. Plus Attack of the Clones had less Jar Jar so that was a win.

Michael from Newfoundland

Fuck this movie.

That is all.

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It’s a bad movie that had low expectations going in. I was far more disappointed with Phantom and Last Jedi even though they are both better movies because I had higher expectations.

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Jake from The Windy City

You know, after watching Anakin and Padme in that weird, dark room after their dinner date, I’m thinking to myself, man, I thought I was socially awkward around girls. Anakin makes me look like James Bond. “My heart is beating, hoping that kiss will not become a scar”? What kind of dialogue was George trying to put out and who the hell says this shit in real life? You don’t talk like that in the real world, bruh!

Oh man, do you think George Lucas could write promos for the WWE?


Martin from Sheffield. First time, long time.

I’m not as down on the prequels as most, but AOTC must have some of the worst/cringe inducing dialogue in cinema.
“I call it aggressive negotiations” makes me wince every time I see it.
Only Ian Mcdiarmid and Sam Jackson make this stuff seem palatable - the rest of the cast are hugely let down by George Lucas’s screenplay. I have no idea he didn’t get someone like Lawrence Kasdan to have a pass on the script, something that worked well on the originals.

Parts of AotC are so painful to watch, as the dialogue is downright lethargic. I presume Lucas thought he was having his characters being profound, but I find them, upon rewatching this movie, to be extremely shallow.

The prequels will never be considered great cinema. Even with that disclaimer, I find it hard to find anything redeeming in the 2nd installment. At least in the third movie we get to the meat of the big picture (rise of the empire, how Darth Vader was born, etc.)

Ahoy! (Star Wars would have been better with a female pirate instead of a former princess/queen-turned-Senator.)

PS: The actual moment when Anakin (who is attracted to older women) became Darth Vader is when he lusted after Padmé in her chambers but she turns him down:

PPS: Lucas has been roundly criticized for interjecting contemporary American political angst into SW, especially in AotC. While AotC clearly has as themes political wranglings that are metaphors for late 20th century and early 21st century US problems, to me that is not really the issue with the movie, as the real weaknesses throughout the movie are the dialogue and pacing.

What’s goin’ on, brothers!

I don’t want to pile-on to the prequels, but other than the third film, they’re kind of trash (and even “Revenge Of The Sith” is somewhat ruined at the end by the decision to turn the always ominous James Earl Jones voice into a meme that still resonates to this day).

As far as Episode II goes, it gets a big “Noooooooo” from me. The Padme/Anakin relationship is weird on both sides, the Council is weak outside of Yoda & Windu, and Brother Lucas’ script is all over the place.

The ONLY good thing to come from this film is the epic opening line from Talib Kwelli’s underrated classic “Get By”: “We sell crack to our own out the back of our homes. We smell the musk at the dusk in the crack of the dawn. We go through episodes too, like “Attack of the Clones”…Work till we break our back, and you hear the crack of the bone!”

4 “Sweet Count Dooku Beards” out of 10. :100:

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Gary from Texas.

The movie sucks, but I remember seeing it opening night and the scene of Yoda dropping his walking stick and igniting his lightsaber is still one of the loudest crowd reactions I’ve heard in a theater. I went out and bought a Yoda action figure after that.

Looking forward to the podcast drop for this!

To this day I still find “Attack Of The Clones” one of the worst movies I own. To be honest, it’s not even a case of “It’s so bad it’s good”, it’s just plan Bad!

From the wooden acting, to the bland dialogue, to the forced love story, remember she was 17 & he was 9 when they met.

While we did see Anakin brutally murder a whole camp of Tusken Raiders unprovoked and deliver the greatest line in cinema history I don’t really can’t grade it above the curve.

3 “I don’t like sand. It’s coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere” outta 10