As we’ll be announcing on tonight’s Rewind-A-Raw (unless I forget), we’re now accepting entries for this year’s Christmas Jingle Contest.
Please post links to your songs hosted on Soundcloud, YouTube, or any other streaming platform in this thread.
[UPDATED] Entries will be accepted until 9am ET Monday December 23rd, 2019 and played/judged on the POST Wrestling Christmas Show 2019 on December 24th, 2019.
Merry Christmas!
Truly the most wonderful time of the most wonderful time of the year.
Hi guys, Bilge Rat here.
This year I was actually prepared, so my submission is nice and early. I even had time to make this my first ever video submission:
If the YouTube link doesn’t work for some reason then there is a backup audio version on SoundCloud:
Enjoy!
I’m dreaming of a black Christmas
Just like the ones I’ve seen before
Perspiration glistens
As I sit and listen
For a man to knock upon my door
I’m dreaming of a black Christmas
With every darkened room I see
So may your days be merry and free
Unless you pick a fight with me
Fucking hell, i am pissing myself at this and i know it’s so shit it’s great.
Bravo sir, bravo.
Deadline extended to Monday 9am ET
Please find my entry for the 2019 Christmas Jingle Contest
It’s wrestling time
There’s a need to be afraid
Vince’s proudct sucks
But thankfully we’ve got John and Wai
They watch the product every week to save it all from you
Live from the Post Office: it’s podcast time.
6 bucks on Patreon, gets you into the cafe meet
They’ll discuss the Wednesday ratings and whatever Seth Rollins tweets.
It’s just a year ago, Hunter said we were in charge
Kenny Omega wrestled a parking ticket, Meltzer gave it seven stars,
It’s been 7 long years, they’ve been watching Raw for 3 hours from 2,
Well tonight thank God it’s them, instead of you.
Face and heel transitions without a single word,
A little bit of the foiley is what John Pollock heard,
A cross rhodes from MJF
Some dog food on Roman’s head,
John and Wai they have to watch it all.
Too much wrestling - John and Wai they have to watch it all
Too much wrestling - John and Wai they have to watch it all
Wyatt in the cell - what a booking clusterfuck
Rusev Day - now a jobbing beta cuck
John and Wai they have to watch it all
Too much wrestling - John and Wai they have to watch it all
Too much wrestling - John and Wai they have to watch it all
Too much wrestling - John and Wai they have to watch it all
Too much wrestling - John and Wai they have to watch it all.
I literally just posted mine which was also a cover of BandAId 
Deleted it when I saw you did the same thing (ableit with a different message…) Back to the drawing board!
At least I have my 2020 entry sorted.
I don’t know if I’ll have time and with my recent run of musical themes around here probably doesn’t give me a huge amount of confidence to submit to win. But if I can I will!
Merry Christmas John and Wai!
Imran from Huddersfield here with my annual dive into the world of Music. Thanks for all your work in 2019 and hope you both have a great holiday season.
So I usually have my jingle thought out a few months before Christmas - and this year I had done an ode to Mr. John Pollock to the tune of Do They Know it’s Christmas? I recorded it earlier in the week and today when I came to post, it turned out that Sancty had beaten me to it!
Not wanting to step on his toes… I have withdrawn that entry and may hold it back for next years contest - or it may never see the light of day. But for this years entry I’ve had to spend my afternoon at work thinking up something to submit - so I apologise in advance for the rushed nature of my entry.
But anyway, after hearing the high standard of the AEW contest and knowing the talented musicians that frequent the Cafe, I feel like this will be the year my reign as Jingle Contest Champion comes to an end - but hopefully you guys… and the Post Wrestling fashionista himself get a kick out of it anyway.
P.S - I hope John’s earphones are working properly!!
Here with a cover of Slade - a Christmas song which I don’t think is big over there, but is huge in the UK - is “Merry Christmas Everybody… But Especially W.H Park”
Here is my annual Christmas gift to you guys, STATS!!!
2019 Average Ratings:
Rewind-A-Raw - 5.25
Rewind-A-SmackDown - 5.99
Rewind-A-Dynamite - 7.61
2019 Podcast Lengths:
Rewind-A-Raw - 88 Hours, 9 Minutes and 41 Seconds
Rewind-A-SmackDown - 69 Hours, 12 Minutes and 21 Seconds
Rewind-A-Dynamite - 20 Hours, 35 Minutes and 59 Seconds
Rewind-A-Wai - 48 Hours, 4 Minutes and 17 Seconds
2019 Right Now’s over the 4 main podcasts listed above:
John - 274
Wai - 512
Here is my song for this year. I asked and received approval from WH Park on this one.
You know John and Cowboy and Braden and Davie
Brother Nate and Martin and Benno and Jamesie
But do you recall
The most critical reviewer of all?
WH the fashion expert
Has a very upturned nose
And if you ever offended it
He’ll tell you that your gear blows
All of the wrestling industry
He would laugh and call them names
He’d never hold back the insults
Especially if your trunks have flames
Then night 2 of Wrestle Kingdom
WH watched in fright,
Okada went back to wearing pants
Why would he wear that fucking gear tonight?
Then how the industry feared him
As he did his year end review
Worst gear awards being handed out
On the next POST Puroresu
Given the amazing reaction we had to our Rewind-A-Dynamite entry, Dasha and I have once again picked up the microphone and MIDI controller (respectively) to create some more Post Wrestling Pop.
Dasha would like me to acknowledge the issue with the lyrics, in that Russian Christmas is technically on January 7th, and so Bobby wouldn’t be counting down the days like the rest of us.
From Chris & Dasha in Melbourne Australia, we wish you all a merry Wrestle Kingdom, and a happy New Year Dash!
Lyrics:
I’m not a fan of Christmas, it’s not the best
Every year it comes around and it’s so much stress
I cannot wait to be done
With all this so called festive fun
Bah humbug, Merry Scroogemas
There’s only one thing getting me through this
and even though I’m not feelin’ the Christmas cheer
I know the real holiday is drawing near…
(Because much more than presents, and food, and awkward family get togethers, what Christmas really means is…)
10 sleeps til Wrestle Kingdom
10 sleeps til Wrestle Kingdom
What will Gedo bring me this year?
This year for Wrestle Kingdom
And while Bobby’s enjoying his very first Russian Christmas with Lana (“На здоровье!” / “Na zdorovie!”)
All I’m thinking about is if night two’s gonna be Naito and Okada
10 sleeps til Wrestle Kingdom
10 sleeps til Wrestle Kingdom
What will Gedo bring me this year?
This year for Wrestle Kingdom
Brother Pollock & Brother Ting,
I was headed to my office Christmas party tonight & you won’t believe what was waiting for me on my porch when I stepped outside…That’s right, a new holiday record from Donald trump’s favorite R&B group, Braxton Witherspoon & The Smart Marks!
Braxton & the gang wanted me to tell you & all the POST-Marks that they hope everyone has a safe & happy holiday season, and they’ll see you all next year!
Braxton Witherspoon & The Smart Marks - "Up On The T.V."
“Televised wrestling, Televised wrestling
So many shows, so many shows…
Televised wrestling, Televised wrestling
So many shows, so many shows…
Up on the T.V., “Raw Is War”
It’s another 3-hour bore.
It’s not much better Friday night on Fox…
But now we’ve got more choices on our box.
Impact & MLW, the NWA makes the old-school new.
So hop in my sleigh, won’t you take a ride?
And let The Smart marks be your T.V. Guide!
Oh, Oh, Oh! Too many shows.
Oh, Oh, Oh! Too many shows.
Grab the remote now, click, click, click
Time to watch wrestling, which show will you pick? (2Xs)
Televised wrestling, Televised wrestling
So many shows, so many shows…
Televised wrestling, Televised wrestling
So many shows, so many shows…
But Wednesday is my favorite night – NXT & Dy-No-Mite!
The Undisputed Era & Keith Lee, “Mama Mia” it’s BRAND SUPREMACY!
Over on TNT, it’s AE-Dub. “Le Champion”, gimme a lil’ bit of the bub!
Join The Dark Order, please don’t delay. Then we can all wear gimp masks on Christmas Day!
Oh, Oh, Oh! Too many shows.
Oh, Oh, Oh! Too many shows.
Grab the remote now, click, click, click
Time to watch wrestling, which show will you pick? (2Xs)
What’s the best gift for all the boys & girls?
Is it ROH or a subscription to New Japan World?
Well my Fite TV credits are almost gone.
Can I get a loan from Tony Khan?
Now I love all the action in the ring.
But is all this wrestling too much of a good thing?
Now fellas, don’t spoil the fun.
There’s enough great wrasslin’ for everyone!
Up on the T.V., you’ve got choice, so let these companies hear your voice.
But no matter which promotion you stan…It’s a great time to be a wrasslin’ fan!
Oh, Oh, Oh! Too many shows.
Oh, Oh, Oh! Too many shows.
Grab the remote now, click, click, click
Time to watch wrestling, which show will you pick? (2Xs)”
Hi there just wanted to let you know that WH Park wanted me to let you know that he appreciated your song. It was great
Thanks for passing on the message! Sure you can agree there can never be enough songs about W. H!