Review-A-Wai 10th Anniversary Top 10 List - **Number 1**

With the 10th anniversary of Review-A-Wai coming up on September 13th, I thought I would count down my 10 favorite episodes of the show. I’ll list one per day until the anniversary. With 388 episodes to choose from it was pretty difficult but here they are.

Number 10 - February 6, 2011
WCW Uncensored 1995 - Link
Ratings - John = -500 Wai = An amoeba, the lowest life form
Scott Putski Award winner, The Renegade

Wai “I can’t believe you actually paid for this, you own a physical copy. You really amaze me cause there must be something about your wiring inside your head that made you see Uncensored '95 at a store and decide I’m going to spend my money, my actual physical money that I can use to buy anything in the world, I’m going to spend that money on this video tape, Uncensored '95.”

Wai “What exactly is a ‘King of the Road match’?”
John “I watched this and I still don’t know.”

John “He then picks up a bail of hay and delivers an unprotected hay shot.”

Wai “I feel sick, I feel physically not well just thinking about all this, just sitting here talking about this show. I feel like I’m starting to sweat, I’m getting a headache.”

John on the main event “It made no-censored.”

John “Every match was bad on this card, every gimmick was bad, every storyline progression sucked. I didn’t want to see one more match after this. The main event was completely ridiculous where Hogan still over came all of these odds when Vander didn’t even have to do a job. Flair was just booked like an absolute idiot. This show felt like it was 18 hours long, I could not wait for it to be finished and I can’t believe WCW business picked up a year and a half later because this product in early 95 was the absolute shits. I hated this show. I am going to enjoy TNA pay per views from now on because I’ll have this imbedded in a portion of my brain knowing it will never hit Uncensored 1995 levels. This was the worst start to finish pay per view I’ve ever seen.”


Number 9 - August 29, 2010
WWE Originals CD + R-Truth Rap Contest - Link
Ratings - John = Sell Wai = Sell

Wai - “There was clearly a lot of autotuning going on here. Her voice doesn’t even sound human, much less like Trish Stratus.”

Wai “This was amazingly, amazingly awful.”

John “By all means illegally download this if you want to hear some more.”


Number 8 - April 17, 2011
1994 Super J Cup with WH Park - Link
Ratings - John = No Rating (He liked it) Wai = No Rating (He also liked it) WH Park = 10

John “The show started off with an opening video with all of these terms thrown out for the various performers. We had just random words like ‘Flying, Powerful, Passion’, then Black Tiger Eddie Guerrero comes on and he was described as ‘Radical’ which would have more meaning years later. ‘Gorgeous, Energetic, Wildest, Sophisticated, Brilliant, Dynamic, Aggressive, Challenger’ and the last one was simply ‘For Pride’. I was already pumped after this video for the next 3 hours.”

Wai “…Which was nothing like Kai En Tai you saw in the WWF.”
John “They weren’t chopping anyone’s penis off.”
WH “No. Well not on camera.”

Wai “I feel like only in Japan can you come up with a character of a half dolphin man and wear a mask with a dolphin nose and be the number 2 babyface in a company.”

John “Am I pronouncing his name right?”
WH “Yeah, it’s ok. You’re white.”
WH “ECW was basically an American version of FMW.”
John “Without the ‘Dynamite up the Ass’ matches.”
WH “Have you seen those matches? They’re awesome!”
John “Those matches always got a ‘pop’.”


Number 7 - July 15, 2015
Clash of the Champions XIII: Thanksgiving Thunder with Jordan Breen - Link
Jordan’s “Dude” count - 105 times
25:06 Sid/Nightstalker Match Recap

Jordan “So definitively, Curtis Hughes’ entrance is when this night just takes a fuckin’ dive.”

John “It looked terrible in real time, so moron in the truck says ‘slow motion reply’.”

Jordan on Sid’s offence “It’s like explaining a video game & saying the controls suck.”

Jordan “The Black Scorpion has killed a fucking man on TBS the Superstation.”


Number 6 - July 16, 2014
July 31, 2000 edition of ‘Monday Nitro’ Viagra On A Pole Match - Link
Ratings - John = 0 Wai = 10

John “I am John Pollock joined as always by Wai Ting, who has just survived 2 hours of Monday Nitro circa 2000? Wai, how are you?”
Wai “Man, I feel weird. I feel like I’ve been touched in a sensitive area. That’s how I feel. It feels like I’ve been awkwardly touched. The shock is still trying to set in, now I just feel funny. I don’t feel bad, I don’t feel good, I just feel funny.”

John “Were you watching WCW at this time?”
Wai “No.”
John “You’re such a wise man. You knew.”
Wai “I don’t know if I’m wise, I’m just normal.”

John "Shawn Stasiak and Chuck Palumbo came out just to confirm there was no drug testing at this point in time in WCW. "

Wai “This just leaves me with an awkward body feeling. It’s giving me the shakes. I have all this pent up energy that I just want to smash things. I’m just so demoralized and tired that I can’t even get up to do anything. Yet I want to do so much, but I can’t, but I want to, but I can’t.”

Wai “This whole episode played out like a 90 minute version of Botchamania.”

John “This is the easiest rating I’ve ever given a show in all of our reviews. It gets a zero out of ten. I am confident in saying this is among, if not the worst pro wrestling shows I’ve watched. I am confident in standing behind July 31, 2000. When I get into future arguments, this will be my go to. I will ask, do you remember the July 31, 2000 edition of Nitro, It was the Viagra on a pole match and it ended with the words, ‘the coffins on fire, the coffins on fire’.”
Wai “Well I give it a ten out of ten. I can’t say that I wasn’t entertained.”
John “Either rating is acceptable.”


Number 5 - September 12, 2012
Queen of the Ring (Chyna porno) 3rd Anniversary Show - Link
Ratings - John = 3 Wai = Mentally scarred for life
Wai said “Oh god” - 16 times & “Let’s skip this” 5 times

Wai “Now we’re being taken backstage where Chyna is undressing, eeek, there’s a tit.”

John “Vince Russo’s watching this right now & he doesn’t know where the parody begins ‘this is a great idea, Jizzapalooza’.”

Wai “Let’s skip through his, we don’t need to see this.”

Wai “What has my life come to? Is this harder than Road Wild?”
John “No, Road Wild was worse.”

Wai “Ok, there we go. Vince McMahon cums into Chyna’s mouth.”

Wai “I’m confused, is this Fucklemania or Jizzapalooza?”

Wai “Eeek, John Cena is playing with himself in the background.”
John “You can’t disease me.”

Wai “Now they’re all circled around her jerking off & I think this is where I’m tapping out John. What more do we have to gain from this? This is ridiculous. Let’s move on. The moment I see Doink the Clown jerk off on your computer screen that’s when I say enough.”

Waigag…heave…cough…gag
John “That’s Wai legitimately choking, not doing an impression of Chyna.”

John “To be the man, you’ve gotta beat off the man.”

Wai “John, this is porn of characters I’ve grown up with. Now I’m seeing them with giant boners basically using Joanie Laurer as a Chinese finger trap.”


Number 4 - January 2, 2013
XPW Episodes 1 & 2, 1999 with Damian Abraham - Link

John, Wai & Damian have a tremendous 42 minute opening banter.

John “I like how we have all just accepted the show has begun at this point.”
Damian “I think we just fell into it. I love when you guys do the rolling starts to the show.”
John “We’ve got a solid 6 minutes here.”
Damian “That’s what you like when you download the podcast. When I’m sitting on the toilet with my bong listening to you guys talk.”

John “You can always count on people to have a morbid curiosity to watch stuff like this. If I say ‘Hey I’ve got a tape here where a guy is going to jump off a roof and dive into thumbtacks and gets eaten by a dog’ people will watch that.”

Damian “Messiah was the one guy that I actually believed as a character.”
John “This guy is the second coming.”
Damian “Of Ric Flair!”

Wai “I could listen to John read porn star Wikipedia pages all day.”

Damian “XPW is like a porn, everything between the sex scenes doesn’t matter. Everything between the actual bloody wrestling match does not matter.”

Damian “Missy Hyatt, she looked like Sandman.”
John “Always a complement when you say a woman looks like the Sandman.”

Damian “This is watched when the kids are safely tucked in bed, the wife has said goodnight and I’m all by myself to wallow in my own shame.”


Number 3 - December 5, 2010
King of the Ring 1994 - Link
Ratings - John = 4.5 Wai = 7
Scott Putski Award winner, Roddy Piper

John “This was the worst call of a show I’ve ever heard in my life. The star if you want to call him that of this show is Art Donovan.”

John “IRS & Mable are up next. If that sounds horrid, you haven’t seen this match.”

Wai “It was also in this match we got our very first ‘How much does this guy weigh?’.”

John “Gorilla just had no time for Art, but Savage was at least trying to help him. Gorilla was like ‘Fuck him’.”


Number 2 – November 21, 2012
The Backyard - Link
Ratings - John = 8.5 Wai = 8

John “Now Wai, you’re a veteran of the backyard scene with the infamous SMC. At least to the best of my knowledge you guys only did staged attacks on woman. Not anything involving fire or cheese graders.”

Wai on his SMC career “I came onboard as a booker, storyline writer & the announcer. It was really stupid.”
John “If I went to your high school Wai, I would have become friends with your over this.”

John “If we make it to a very monumental episode number of Review-A-Wai, could we review the SMC?”
Wai “Sure, episode #2851.”
John “If you were willing for us to review SMC, I would definitely consider letting us review an episode of J-A-W-S.”

John “Yes you’ve watched buried alive matches before in the WWF, where it’s gimmicked. These guys are legitimately burying each other alive, in front of 3 people.”

John “This built up to a dream match among the backyard community, Scar vs. The Retarded Butcher.”
Wai “I’ve been waiting for this all year.”

Wai “What this documentary made me realize is that all these after school specials and any time you hear exceptional people , people who are very accomplished tell kids ‘If you can believe, you can achieve’, if you just work hard enough you can do it. This is the same philosophy that these idiots possess. If they believe they can be WWF champion, they can do it. 'Watch me, I don’t care what you say. I’m going to break this over my head and be successful doing it’. So, if there is something to take away from this, don’t give that lesson to anybody, especially if they are an idiot.”

Wai closes the show with the theme from the children’s show The Backyardigans.


Number 1 - April 11, 2012
April 10, 2000 edition of ‘Monday Nitro’ Russo/Bischoff Reboot - Link
Ratings - John = -50 (Infinite negative in the grand scope of negativity) Wai = 4

John & Wai chat about the Fight Network offices being in the middle of moving to a new location.
John “We had no internet all morning here and the men’s washroom has no lights in it.”
Wai “That’s why you use the Ladies like all the other guys. But this place still works.”
John “Yeah we still have a functioning broom closet.”
Wai “Yeah, isn’t that amazing that of all the places to maintain itself the longest, it is out shitty Review-A-Wai studio.”

John “Hogan tells Kidman that he is ‘p-whipped’ by Tori Wilson, p-whipped, P-WHIPPED! Ah Christ.”

John "Scott Hudson says ‘We have literally had a train wreck every segment’, agreed. And ‘We all know the heat between Flair & Douglas’, no we don’t because you haven’t explained it.
Wai “Well you should have done your research before watching this entertainment program.”
John “I want to personally thank Bryan Alvarez & R.D. Reynolds, I read 40 pages of Death of WCW to figure out what was going on here. I was so confused.”
John “Scott Hudson says ‘There’s nothing else worth watching than Nitro right now’, I highly disagree even if you weren’t a wrestling fan. I’m sure there was a basketball game or an infomercial or static.”

John “…Steiner and Luger run in. Luger was sporting a FUBU shirt.”

John “I hated this show with every ounce of my being. What do you give this one Wai? This is where you come back and say ‘I liked the show’.”

27 Likes

This is going to be amazing. I am eagerly awaiting the rest of the countdown and can’t wait to see what Number 1 is.

3 Likes

Thank you @Brad_The_Archivist
I am dead laughing from reading this! Incredibly fun and funny.

4 Likes

Did they announce what show they are doing for the 10th anniversary of Rewind-A-Wai? I’m sure they likely announced it at the end of the last show they did on Wrestlecon, but I haven’t gotten a chance to listen to it yet and am super curious now.

Just the regular Espresso Executive Producer review.

Number 9 added.

3 Likes

Number 8 added.

2 Likes

Rodrigo frm Winnipeg

Tremendous day john’s voice sounds so different than the professional one he has today

2 Likes

After these 10, I would be in favor of a “This Day in History where we get these kinda blurbs about shows that took place on the same date in the past. At this point have hey done a show on at least every day of the calendar year?

2 Likes

I did this during the first year of my Archive_A_Wai twitter account. Everyday of the year they did a show I tweeted out quotes from it.

5 Likes

Really enjoying this trip down memory lane…so many reviews I’m hearing for the first time.

3 Likes

Thank you Brad. I love these. Obviously it is very funny when they review utter shite like Uncensored 95.

3 Likes

I think I listened to that Uncensored review at least 5 times. So funny

2 Likes

Number 7 added.

1 Like

Man we really don’t appreciate Pollock’s puns enough.

P.S. Hope the Backyard Wrestling Doc. cracks the Top 5.

2 Likes

I think the Superclash 3 episode will be top 3 easily. John and Arda tore that to shreds

1 Like

Number 6 added.

1 Like

I promise I’m not kissing their ass but if you wanna know why a lot of people rode with John and Wai Post LAW read these entries, now imagine listening to these while at work or working out or shopping and breaking out laughing in public. These entries are so good

5 Likes

I’ve just read “Review a Wai - Nitro 2000” and I’m already laughing.

1 Like

Hoping for a Heroes of Wrestling mention in here… Or their incredibly awkward live review of Chyna’s Queen of the Ring.

3 Likes