The POST Wrestling CHRISTMAS SHOW will be released on Monday, December 24th.
Per tradition, we will be holding the annual CHRISTMAS JINGLE CONTEST.
You can make your musical submissions in this thread. The deadline for submissions is Thursday, December 20th at 11 am Eastern.
Put your own spin on a Christmas classic, create your own themed jingle and then tune in to find out if you are the winner of the Christmas Jingle Contest. Each submission will be played on the Christmas Show.
A POST Wrestling prize pack will be awarded to the winner.
I’m not a good guitarist, drummer, singer, or anything… but I am a good listener and a fan of yours.
So you, John and Wai, have given me the gift of your insight and humor for countless hours over the past years. Soooo… I wanted to return the favor by giving you guys the gift of… well… whatever the hell this is.
Two guys, relatable,
Recapping Raw on a Post Wrestling Show.
Wouldn’t you know it? These two are saying
All of the thought and opinions I make when
Raw was bad, or when it was good.
It doesn’t matter! I’ll say this to you:
Happy Holidays
To Rewind-A-Raw
Happy Holidays
To Rewind-A-Raw
Happy Holidays
To Rewind-A-Raw
Happy Holidays
To Rewind-A-Raw
Happy Holidays
To Rewind-A-Raw
I have no musical skill, so I’m just going to leave this here, since I had it in my head.
This is specifically for the crew at the British Wrestling Experience.
The Twelve Days of Brit Wres (final verse)
On the twelfth day of Brit Wres, my best mates gave to me…
TWELVE WALTERs chopping
ELEVEN Jimmys bleeding
TEN Ligeros leaping
NINE Mark Andrews Diving
EIGHT Import Killers
SEVEN Star Lariats
SIX-teen Super Strong Style
FIIIIIIVE STAR WRESTLING… closed up, sorry to hear about that
FOUR PROGRESS chapters
THREE nights at York Hall
Two Bitter Ends
And a contract of exclusitivity
You’re a mean one, Becky Lynch
You’re (supposed to be) a heel
Whenever you Tweet something, all the fanboy marks they squeal, Becky Lynch
They cheer when you act evil – what’s the deal?
You’re a monster, Becky Lynch
More over than anyone on Raw
You could torture Ronda Rousey and they’d still say you’re without flaw, Becky Lynch
You could headline WrestleMania, as the main event draw!
You’re a foul one, Becky Lynch
They’re calling you “The Man”
They could book you on Crown Jewel, and say it’s all part of their plan, Becky Lynch
They think you’re the second coming, of Austin-McMahon!
You’re a vile one, Becky Lynch
Behind all those attacks
IRS would probably tell you, you don’t need to pay your tax, Becky Lynch
The only one who hates you is, quite possibly, Nia Jax!
You’re a rotter, Becky Lynch
You even have that evil red hair
You can kill off half the roster, with an evil Becky stare, Becky Lynch
You could take out Carmella, Asuka and even Charlotte Flair
You nauseate me, Becky Lynch
You insult us with no shame
You make Conor McGregor, by comparison, sound lame, Becky Lynch
Is it too early to vote you in the WWE Hall of Fame?
Where is the, where is the, where is The Rock?
Hasn’t been here, in three or four years,
We really don’t wanna, see one more Moana
We’d rather have Rocky on Raw to get cheers.
Where is the, where is the, where is The Rock?
The time is right now for raisin’ that ‘brow
All of the roster right now is so lame
…it doesn’t MATTER their name!
What a bright time, it’s the right time,
For The Great One to return to the ring
It’s a swell time, for “If Ya Smell…” time
We’re all waitin’ for the “It” to “Just Bring”
Giddy-up, Brahma Bull, where have you gone?
What do you mean “Hollywood”?
Not to be mean, but Fast and Furious 13?
We think it’s time, for the return of the,
The People’s Champion The Rock!
Thanks for all the hard work you guys have put into Post Wrestling this year, and particular thanks for answering all my daft questions in the Ask-A-Wai shows.
Anyway, after winning the contest two years ago and being a joint winner last year - I felt compelled to go for the Three-Peat this year. It’ll be a tough ask i’m sure but hopefully you enjoy my submission.
So here’s my entry - All I Want For Christmas is POST
Merry Christmas from The Archivist John and Wai. Besides a song, my gift to you is the gifts you give to me, STATS! With the amount of content you guys produce nowadays, I’ve limited myself to only cover the big three, Rewind-A-Raw, Rewind-A-SmackDown and Rewind-A-Wai.
(Sung to the tune of ‘I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus’ - apologies in advance for the worse-than-normal singing)
I saw Stone Cold Stunning Santa Claus
Right inside the ring on Monday night
He didn’t see my cries, with middle fingers he pantomimed
Flipping the bird to ol’ Saint Nick and saying, that’s the bottom line
Then I saw Stone Cold beating Santa Claus
Forcing him to jump and drop his beer
It nearly ruined Christmas when he opened a can of Whoop Ass
The Nielsen rating popped, but the segment was pretty crass
I saw Stone Cold Stunning Santa Claus
What a crappy way to end the show
He kicked Kris Kingle’s butt, then he kept on yelling “WHAT?”
Santa’s beard was bleeding, and his eyes were pummeled shut
When I saw Stone Cold whooping Santa Claus
Right before he celebrated in the ring
He chugged some cans of beer, as the Elves looked on in fear
As they realized the Christmas presents wouldn’t be sent this year!
Fresh off of watching that lackluster Raw with Wai on Monday night, I checked my inbox & found this soon-to-be holiday classic waiting for me. It’s the latest track from America’s favorite wrestling-related group (and former official White House band) Braxton Witherspoon & The Smart Marks, “Give Love To Roman Reigns”!