Originally published at DAVIE PORTMAN'S REVIEW: Talk N' Shop-A-Mania
Talk N’ Shop A-Mania
August 2nd, 2020
Doc Gallows Backyard, Georgia
Welcome To Talk N’ Shop A-Mania
The PPV opens with Gallows, Anderson, and Rocky Romero in their podcast studio talking about how Gallows came up with the idea of putting on a show after they got released. They say that they filmed for a few days at Gallows’ house, flew in a bunch of people, and made sure everyone wore masks and took tests. They watched it back and realized it was awful, then drank a bunch and watched it again and loved it. They recommend that you are inebriated when watching the show and Anderson tells us that he has put a lot of Jim Beam in his coffee…unfortunately, I watched this early in the morning with a hangover, so maybe I would have enjoyed this show more last night. Gallows and Anderson tell us that no disrespect is meant to anyone and it’s just one big “wink”. Gallows does a Howard Finkle impression to introduce the show and they call it “the worst PPV ever”.
Anderson and Rocky arrive at Gallows and as they walk through the grounds they walk into Teddy Long who tells them to stand back six feet. The ring is revealed in the middle of a field as Gallows introduces the show.
The Main Event Set-Up
Chad 2 Badd (Karl Anderson) is in a lime green singlet and headband calling out Sex Ferguson (Doc Gallows) for a Boner Yard match. Gallows mimics the Undertaker and says that Chad 2 Badd is going to “Rest In Faeces”. Anderson stares at the camera and laughs awkwardly.
Social Distancing Battle Royal
All the wrestlers in the ring are wearing surgical masks. Freight Train makes his entrance and slowly enters the ring. Freight Train effortlessly eliminates four men straight away before he gets hit by a low blow or “hit right in the c**k” as Karl Anderson says. Lazer, dressed like ’90s Sting takes out everyone on the outside with a Crossbody. Heath Miller shows up dressed as Crow Sting, points at Laser with his baseball bat, and says “that’s gimmick infringement, man”. Doc Gallows says that he hates imposters as he is holding a figure of Kane. Mike Bennett enters the ring then eliminates himself. All the remaining men hit each other with foam swimming pool noodles. Brian Pillman Jr is revealed to be in the match and actually does some proper wrestling with one of the other wrestlers. Freight Train eliminates the worker and is left in the ring with Brian Pillman as Alex Koslov shows up. Koslov’s “Bearded Mother” shows up and helps Brian Pillman eliminate Freight Train, she then eliminates Pillman and Koslov. Chico (Rocky Romero) runs out and hits a Stunner to Koslov’s Bearded Mother and eliminates her to win the Talk N Shop A-Mania Championship. Chavo Guerrero is on commentary and says how much he hates Chico and that he is going to kill that guy.
Doc Gallows interviews Alex Koslov who is smoking a cigarette. Koslov says that his mother “f***ed up” and cost him winning the championship.
Contract on a Tree Match
David Penzer introduces the Contract on a Tree match when Teddy Long shows up and says that “this s**t sucks” and asked if Penzer washed his shirt before putting it on. Frankie Coverdale is in the ring awaiting his opponent who pulls up in a red Corvette with “Wooooo” written on the windshield. A fake Ric Flair, “Nature Boy” Paul Lee, comes out of the car and walks past Maria Kanellis in a bathing suit and a large tattooed lady in a bikini. Paul Lee takes a really, really, really long time to get to the ring. They start wrestling and Coverdale gets Irish Whipped out of the ring and he continues to run towards a pond.
Chavo Tries To Kill Chico
Chico says that it is great to finally be a champion but unfortunately he is a champion of the worst company in history. He calls out Chavo Guerrero and says that he doesn’t forget the history between him and Chavo’s family. Chavo is seen with a rifle trying to shoot Chico. Chico asks for a singles match with Chavo if the Good Brothers can put the money up.
Contract on a Tree continued
We go back to the Contract on a Tree match where Paul Lee has a headlock applied to Cloverdale as he is strutting around and “Wooing”.
George North vs Stump Kowalski
Stump Kowalski is a person of short stature and picks up a sign to smash over the back of George North. As he hits him the camera cuts and the weapon has changed to a stick. They fight to the outside and Stump hits North again with the stick really slowly. The Good Brothers and Rocky make fun of it and ask to see a replay. Stump and North pretend to reverse and do the spot again slowly instead of actually getting an action replay. They then fight towards the swimming pool.
Back at the swimming pool Paul Lee still has the headlock applied to Cloverdale. Stump and North fight through to the house where Brian Myers is playing with classic Hasbro wrestling figures.
Gallows Wants Double Pay
Doc Gallows is dressed as Sex Ferguson and tells Scott D’Amore that he doesn’t want to be in a tag team but wants double the pay. D’Amore is annoyed because he didn’t hire Sex Ferguson and he doesn’t want him dressed in this stupid gimmick.
Teddy Long comes to the ring and asks David Penzer for his money. He then announces the next match will be a tag team match. 80s Russians vs Jungle Kittens. The 80s Russians jump the Jungle Kittens immediately. The four men actually have a somewhat serious match for about a minute. The 80s Russians hit the Jungle Kittens with a Clothesline for the win.
Teddy Long gets back on the Mic and says that this isn’t the 80s, it’s the 90s. The Flock enters with a sign saying “Yes, we are still alive”. Ron Reis enters dressed as The Yeti enters but The Flock sends him back as he is in the wrong gimmick Ron Reis comes back and The Flock takes out the 80s Russians and Jungle Kittens with kendo stick strikes and an F5. D’Lo Brown comes out and hits a Low Down to one of the 80s Russians. Rhino comes out gores both 80s Russians. Brian Pillman Jr comes out and hits a Springboard Clothesline and series of Dropkicks. Rim Job then comes out and looks at all the fallen bodies. Chavo enters riding Pepe the toy horse and takes out Rim Job. Chavo follows up with a Frog Splash.
“Cold Stone” Willie Mack enters next and hits Stone Cold Stunners to the 80s Russians and Jungle Kittens. Chavo hits the Three Amigos and celebrates by drinking beers with Mack who then hits him with the Stunner. Rocky Romero, Karl Anderson, and Doc Gallows are on commentary and imitate JR calling him a “goddamn sonofabitch”.
Rory Fox vs Swoggle
Rory Fox makes an entrance and calls out Matt Cardona because eleven years ago he ripped off his wrestling trunks and ruined his career. The whole time Anderson, Gallows, and Romero are laughing at “how big his d**k is”. Matt Cardona doesn’t come out but Bryan Myers comes out instead. Myers says that he has a big star to take him on instead and brings out Swoggledona. Swoggle comes out dressed as Zack Ryder as Bryan Myers is singing Ryders WWE theme song.
Swoggle does the “Woo Woo Woo” taunt, stamps on Fox’s foot, twists his nipples and then bites his buttocks. Fox fights back and says “Woo Woo Woo Kiss My Ass”. Bryan Myers comes in to take out Fox. There is a really weird camera shot and cut where we see Myers throw Swoggle at Fox for the win. Swoggle pulls off Fox’s trunks and he goes running through the field wearing a thong.
Hardcore Match continued
We cut to the end of a hardcore match in a swimming pull where Stump Kowalski pushed George North off a slide into the pool. Doc Gallows is announced as the loser of the match. The fake Ric Flair is in the pool still applying the Headlock to Cloverdale.
New Talk N Shop A-Mania Champion
Chico (Rocky Romero) is now wearing a surgical mask over his Lucha mask. He’s lifting weights when Chavo Guerrero comes in and tries to kill Romero with the weight bar. Chavo throws Romero into a sauna and locks him in. Romero fights back and Chavo keeps saying he’s “on the gas”. Chavo is calling every move that Romero does. They stop fighting to tell each other that they respected each other’s grandfather. They both deliver Atomic Drops. Chavo rolls up Romero to be the new Talk N Shop A-Mania Champion.
Karl Anderson gives Chavo a beer to congratulate him on his win. Anderson smashes Chavo in the head with the title to be the new champion.
NZO makes his way to the ring and cuts a promo. He says that he’s happy to be there but has forgotten what he was going to say. NZO says that Gallows is not going to be making any money from this show. He talks about how Gallows put himself over in the main event. He says that he’s gone overtime on his promo but he doesn’t care. He hopes everyone enjoys the show.
The finish of the Contract on a Tree Match
Fake Ric Flair is out of the pool but still applying a headlock. There’s a large lady in a bikini watching on. A fake Honky Tonk man interferes. Bryan Myers dressed as The Honky Tonk Man takes out the first fake Honky Tonk Man. Heath Slater also dressed as the Honky Tonk Man joins in the fight. The first fake Honky Tonk Man gives them both a low blow and starts to make out with the lady. “The winner of the match, who gives a f***”.
The Boner Yard Match
Chad 2 Badd vs Sex Ferguson
Next up is the Boner Yard Match played to “Devil In Your Six” by Q-Brick where we see a white hearse pull up. Druids pull a coffin out of the car but drop it and Chad 2 Badd (Anderson) comes out. Anderson is mimicking AJ Styles saying that he isn’t scared of the boner yard. We pan to a man playing the guitar and singing a song as Anderson is waiting for his opponent in the background. Gallows shows up in his “Sex Ferguson” gimmick, driving a golf buggy and wearing American Flag tights and a Ribera jacket. Gallows gets the advantage and rubs his ass in Anderson’s face. Anderson delivers a low blow to come back. Another guy shows up and gives Gallows some pills and he starts to “Hulk Up”. Anderson falls back on a pile of dirt with AJ Styles gloved hand sticking out. Anderson calls him Uncle Alan and asks why he couldn’t save them from being fired but says he knows he tried and that’s why he changed shows. Rory Fox runs in and has his trunks pulled off again.
We then get a series of cameos from various performers. Maria Kanellis comes in and dances the Salsa with Anderson before questioning why she is there and leaves. Bryan Myers and Heath are sat on deckchairs drinking beer and watching on. The Rock n Roll Express shows up and ask “what the f*** are you two jobless sob’s doing” before they leave to their gimmick table. NZO goes up to them to buy an autograph but has “zero dimes” then gets Superkicked through the table by Gallows. Johnny Swinger shows up doing squats.
Anderson and Gallows continue to fight when Romero shows up being chased by Chavo Guerrero holding a machete. A man in a Wookie Mask pops up from a pit and gets smashed over the head with a sign. Anderson and Gallows climb to the top of the hearse. Gallows mimics the Undertaker and tries to hit a Tombstone but Anderson farts in his face before he is dropped. They both pass out and we go into a dream sequence.
The Dream Sequence takes us back to September 2019 where Gallows and Anderson are meeting the Young Bucks to sign with AEW. Before The Bucks meet them they say that the Good Brothers are sex addicts, drug addicts, and probably drunk. Gallows and Anderson say it’s a good deal but they have a great deal on the table from New York and they trust the Pauls. The Bucks and The Good Brothers make an agreement and Too Sweet. They say they’re going to start on October 2nd and be part of the Inner Circle with Chris Jericho. Gallows then gets a text from “Paul” offering them a new deal. They take the deal and get Superkicked by The Bucks who say “what’s the betting they end up in TNA anyway”.
They awake from their dream and mimic the Brock/Undertaker sat up laughing spot from Summerslam. They start fighting towards the pit and Anderson cracks a sign over Gallows’ causing him to fall in. Anderson starts to bury Gallows as they talk trash to each other. They’re talking about how they know they made a mistake leaving Japan and going to the “fed”. Anderson gets into Gallows’ golf buggy, pops his fist in the air like the Undertaker and drives off. Gallows comes out of the pit wearing a Jason Voorhees hockey mask. There is a dildo in the ground and pyro going off as the screen says “To Be Continued…maybe”.
Davie’s thoughts: It’s very difficult to review a show like this in the same way as I would write about Impact or talk about NXT, so I’m going to leave all of my thoughts here. I feel that this show is going to be very divisive. I, personally, did not enjoy the show. It’s not my humor at all and didn’t really find any of the gags funny. I’m sure people who are fans of the Talk N Shop Podcast will absolutely love this. Even though it wasn’t for me, I really respect the work all the guys involved put into this project. It was clearly a labor of love and it was nice to see everyone have so much fun with it. I’m sure it was an absolute blast to make! When you see the amount of personality and chemistry that Anderson and Gallows have together it’s a real shame that we never got to see that shown in WWE. This seems to be a recurring statement made about former WWE talent.
The main event was definitely the highlight of the show. The fact that both Gallows and Anderson were involved in the original Boneyard Match meant they knew the source material really way and could parody it as best as they could. I enjoyed all the jokes about them getting fired by the WWE and how they were “screwed by the Pauls”. The Dream Sequence with The Bucks was probably the most entertaining scene of the whole show and it’s good to see that there doesn’t seem to be any bad feeling between the two parties. I also thought the moments with AJ Styles’ arm were pretty funny.
I can see some people being annoyed at spending $14.95 to watch this show if they were expecting something else, but I feel the majority of people who purchased the PPV are fans of Gallows and Anderson and probably enjoy their sense of humor and were willing to support. There are talks of doing a Talk N Shop A-Mania 2 and it would be interesting to see what cinematic style match they will try and parody next time. My guess is…Eye For An Eye.